Speedy Gonzales

The first time somebody called me "Speedy Gonzales," I was shocked and offended. I thought the Twenty-First Century, and the educated, empathetic, socially conscious generation that I called my own had successfully eradicated blatant racism like this. But no. Apparently any Joe or Jane walking down the street has social license to call me out as "the fastest mouse in all of Mexico."

It was after my sister saw me racing down the street to meet my family at a restaurant downtown that she leveled with me. "You go ridiculously fast," she said. "It's kinda scary. I actually couldn't even make out your face as you went by." I'll be honest, though. I'm still in denial. And when I see the panicked jolt cross over a poor chap's face when I nimbly swerve around his casted ankle, I blame him for that split second of annoyance he must have with me. I mean, I take that back. I do feel bad if I near miss a guy with a cast, since that might truly throw his balance off. But the point is..I haven't hurt anybody yet! And I have places to go. I am very polite, though, and I always apologize---if I see you that is.

So there you have it. I apparently am the fastest mouse in all of Mexico...and now Washington. Just do me a favor--if you walk slow, stay to the right.

Thanks!